When you make new friends, it takes a while to really get to know them. You met them and with every encounter, open up little by little until you truly feel comfortable with them. But some people have a really hard time opening up no matter what. They’re suspicious of others and don’t feel comfortable being their true selves with others they don’t know. If you’re a guarded person by nature, here are a few ways to be more open in your friendships:
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Learn about the world around you
If you want to be more open with others, keep up on what’s happening in the world around you. Stay up to date on current events, cultural references and more so that you can make connections with others and have something to talk about when you feel as if you can’t relate to any one.
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Use open body language
When talking to someone, be aware of your body language. Try not to fold your arms, cross your legs or show any other closed body language that makes it seem as if you’re standoffish or don’t want to talk. And always remember to smile often, which will make you appear more open even if you’re hesitant.
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Listen to others
When you’re talking to others, make sure that you’re listening and not distracted or in your own head. Focus on what others are saying and really concentrate on their words. This will help you connect with them on a deeper level, which will allow you to open up more to new friends. This also means staying in the moment. When you’re listening, don’t think about other things or let your brain wander off. Be present and open to what the other person is saying so that you can internalize and react accordingly when they are finished.
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Ask questions
Open up by investing in the people you’re around by asking real questions. Don’t be afraid to ask harder questions to those you’re getting to know to really understand them on a much deeper level. These real questions will help you get to know them and what they’re about. But don’t forget to give them real answer when they ask you those sorts of questions, too. Be open with them and they’ll do the same!
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Don’t be afraid
If you’re afraid of connecting with others because you were hurt in the past, you need to grow past it and move on. Don’t be afraid that if you are real with others and really open up to them that they’ll dislike you or judge you. You have to take that risk if you really want to form deeper connections and meaningful friendships with others. Don’t worry about what others think or say and do. Just be you and you’ll see that others will accept you for who you are once you really open up to them.
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Be patient and take your time
You’re not going to open up to someone over night so don’t stress out about it! As you start to open up to others in the beginning, you’ll fumble a lot as you try to figure out what to say and do; after all, it’s not that easy to really open up to others if you’re a guarded person. But with practice, you’ll realize how easy it is and the type of deeper connections you’re make once you put the effort in!
