From when we’re very young we come to depend on our friends when times get
tough. As we get older, particularly if we find ourselves single, we come to depend
on our pals as an emotional support and as a source to meet new people and to find friends.
As much as we love our friends there are some friends who simply do not have our
best interests at heart, particularly as well get older. These friends can hold you
back from being your best.
7 signs you’ve outgrown a friend include:
They’re in a rut: they’ve been stuck in the same dead end job or course for
years and have lots of unfinished projects that never go anywhere. If you
start achieving something in life, the last thing they will want to see is for you
to move on to bigger and better things. If you sense resentment over your
new hobbies, it’s a sign your friend is not the person you need around you
right now.
They are bitter: when, for example, you’ve just being dumped, it can be great
hearing funny stories about a person’s own experiences with an ex, even if
just to remind you that your story isn’t that bad. If, however, they simply can’t
get past it and are still obsessed with bad experiences years after, odds are
the last thing they want to see is you getting past your grief quickly.
They stop seeing you: all of a sudden you’re having fun and they disappear.
They go from being available every night to having to cancel on you at a
moment’s notice for some ridiculous reason (i.e. they have to study for an
exam with weeks to go or need to pay a fine). They are cutting off reflected
failure – you make them feel bad because they’ve been trapped in their own
rut for a long time and they see you drop to their level and jump straight up
again.
They don’t like seeing you have fun: you’ve had a big night out, had a bit of
a chat with a few eligible members of the opposite sex and maybe got a
number or two or have lined up a date. They don’t want to laugh about it and
seem somewhat slighted. It’s simple – you are reminding them of their own
miserable frame of mind. They don’t want to see you having fun.
They hate your new friends: so you’ve decided to hit the town with a few
new pals you’ve met to lighten your mood and meet some new girls/guys.
Your bitter longterm pals try to denigrate your new pals as being arrogant, or
weird or pick apart their idiosyncrasies. This is a bad sign – they are
threatened by the possibility you’re going to get out of your own rut and find
fun again.
They denigrate the guys/girls you speak to: you’ve been chatting to
someone you’re keen on for a while and get their number. Your friend points
out issues they have with their body (i.e. they have a pointy nose or broad
hips) or tells you that they give them a bad vibe. Or they spell out all the
reasons they’d have nothing to do with them. Realistically, they just don’t
want to see you moving on.
They engage in power trips: all of a sudden you have to jump through hoops
for them. They shuffle around times to meet you and get angry when you
won’t accommodate it or they make you apologise for things you don’t see as
being offensive.
All of us suffer tough times. The best way to move forward in life is to make sure
you’re surrounded by people that want to be a part of your success as well as being
their through the tough times. Sadly, as you grow some people you know simply
won’t grow with you and some will resent seeing you get into a better place. It’s
important to make sure the people around you have your best interests at heart.
